Book Excerpt

What is child–centered adoption? Child-centered adoption is just that: holding the knowledge that a child’s current and future needs are at the center of adoption. It is for the child that an adoption decision was made, and it is for the child’s identity that relationships are developed and maintained. Child-centered adoption means keeping family ties when they are appropriate, and creating healthy boundaries between birth and adoptive families in order to maintain those ties. Child-centered adoption means remembering that the child is of two worlds, and for that child to grow up as one integrated person, he will have the task of putting these worlds together. Adoptive parents and birth parents can help adopted children weave these worlds into a cohesive braid that is the reality of their lives as adopted persons. Although birth parents were not ready to parent, they have a vital role to play in helping their child know that he was loved then, and is loved now by those who gave him life.